How far is too far?

Hey guys,

Well well well, two posts in the space of a few hours – you must be feeling spoiled today *laughs*

Seriously I’m not joking, my social media detox has resulted in an exponential increase of reading in my life – a change I readily welcome. I find myself reading more articles, blogs, and books; as well as interacting with a lot more bloggers (who are absolutely awesome).

Anyways, the purpose of this post is to share with you an article I’ve just finished reading on cross-sex friendships in the context of marriage. Those of you who are either married or single – I would be so grateful to hear your thoughts on this – yes Olawumni and Elizabeth this includes you *laughs*. At some points it appears as though the boundaries are over-the-top, but in reality, they are practical and I agree with them to the best of my present knowledge. They honour the sanctity of marriage and direct the focus of our intimacy towards our spouses (mine being in the future tense).

All you have to do is read some of the comments that people left to realise that (intimate) cross-sex friendships do pose a huge dilemma within marriage. So if you can, please read a few of the comments as well (I read the ones towards the bottom). One person wrote: “Please, spouses, your vow to forsake all others isn’t just forsake others sexually. It’s also forsake others emotionally that harm your relationship. Sex does not have to be involved for enormous hurt and mental anguish on both sides to be felt and terrible damage done.” Dayum, I know right…

Back to the matter at hand; yes, the article!

Here is a short excerpt and as always, the link to the full post is down below 🙂 I pray you are blessed!

I know, I know, you may be saying, “But, we’ve been friends forever, and there’s nothing romantic there.” The point is: it’s not worth the risk. It’s not that you can never talk to a friend of the opposite gender, but it’s keeping them at arms distance. I have plenty of old guy pals that I touch base with from time to time, but we aren’t spending substantial (if any) time together. It’s not like the friendship we used to have; it now has strict boundaries and a safe distancing involved.

Truthfully, no one should know you better than your spouse, especially not a friend that shares the same gender as your husband or wife. Sharing your heart with someone builds intimacy whether you realize it or not, so it’s crucial to consider who you are building that intimacy with. Relationships develop based on communication and quality time, so regardless of how little concern you feel there is for being attracted to your guy pals (ladies) or girlfriends (guys), it’s not worth the risk.

To read the full article, click here 🙂


2 Replies to “How far is too far?”

  1. It felt in parts that Ashley was describing my life! I’ve always gotten along better with guys – less drama! Lol. And studying Electrical Engineering at Uni (a very male-dominated field) didn’t help either. Most of my close friends were guys. And my “bestest” friend was a guy! We maintained a very close friendship for years even beyond university. That is, until I got married. Without either of us really intending to, we simply drifted apart. I realised that our regular hang-out dates didn’t seem so appropriate anymore now that I had a husband. of course, I didn’t want to accept it at first. What?! Why should marriage stop me from hanging out with my best friend. But I decided to put myself in my husband’s shoes. Would I really be happy with him relating that closely with another woman? Heck no! So, case closed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😂😂 that seemed to close your case very quickly. Thank you for reading it and giving your feedback💜
      Recently a friend of mine went through a break up and I was speaking to him about it through the night into the morning – but something just didn’t feel right anymore so now I’ve imposed a time schedule on my phone calls🙈 even in a relationship you can feel that strain xx


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